The British Royal Brand Found Their New Posterboy: Archie

simba being held up Leave a Comment / Blog, Featured / By Chase Hutchison

Royal Marketing

The British Royals continue their domination of royal marketing and brand identity by adding a yet-to-be-named little boy to the troupe. The release of their new poster boy has been slowly rolling out for months now, and the world held their breath in anticipation until today, at 5:26 in the morning newly dubbed American Princess and Dutchess of Sussex, Meaghan Markle delivered her first child according to their Instagram.

Buckingham Palace was the first to spread the news when it tweeted confirmation that Markle went into labor early Monday morning following an announcement of the couple’s plans to keep the details surrounding the birth secret until they had time “to celebrate privately as a new family.” I didn’t know buildings could tweet, but hey it’s 2019, and I’m not just gonna assume they can’t.

Here’s what it means for business though (let’s do this like a capital one commercial)

    • Baby Shower in Manhattan: $200,000
    • Penthouse Suite at The Mark in Manhattan: $75,000
    • Private Jet Flight London -> NYC: $100,000
    • Renovations to Frogmore Cottage Nursery: $65,000
    • Acupuncture and Numerology Sessions: $11,000
    • Maternity Outfits for Mama Markle: $500,000
    • Babymoon (whatever that is) at Five Star Luxury Spa: $43,000
    • Birth Certificate: $14 (up from last year)
  • Fleccin Extra Hard for the Gram: Priceless

How Does The Saying Go Again?

When a baby gets born, everybody gets paid. Something like that. From airlines to fashion lines, businesses will be lining up to take their order and the orders of their cohorts. The advertisements and sponsorship pinned to the media coverage of the event must total in the many millions. And it’s not over yet. It’s just the beginning.

All jokes aside, this is a happy moment for both the British and American economies. By all accounts, this baby will be a hybrid of both cultures. With homes in both the British and American countrysides, there’s plenty enough to go around. Archie Harrison Mountbatten-Windsor will be the 7th in line to the British throne but won’t be called “his royal highness” because the rules surrounding granting royal titles were tightened up about a hundred years ago. Harry and Megan could have chosen to have Archie bestowed with an aristocratic title, but they decided against it.

And I’d say for a family of branding geniuses, this was a pretty wack move. The Harry-Meghan Royal marketing team is definitely pulling their hair out over this but I guess like season 8 of Game of Thrones, we’ve just got to wait and see how this plays out.